Step Aside Imposter – The True Ninja Commeth
A Whimsical Tale about Japan's Smallest but Mightiest Ninja
This is a whimsical tale meant to entertain and educate. No living creatures were injured in the making of this article (but not without trying).
Prologue
What does the average Canadian think of when it comes to Japan?
Cars, electronics, anime, sushi, samurai, and ninja!
Indeed, before coming to Japan I had a mild and dubious interest in meeting the ninja of Japan. It should come as no surprise that I have yet to see one (Yes, they are that good!). However, upon arrival I have encountered something even more sinister and diabolical in nature, that the Japanese ninja falls short in comparison. This encounter can keep you up at night and ruin your days to come.
What is it?
Meet the True Ninja of Japan
As a Canadian, I can say with confidence that we have our fair share of the common mosquito, which is why we often vacation outside the country. It can be safe to say that all Canadians that have been near a campfire at night have had a smoke bath before going to bed (We are told that the smell of smoke on the skin naturally repels them). Therefore, you may assume that a Canadian like myself wouldn’t be bothered too much by the Japanese mosquito, however, that assumption would be wrong. The “True Ninja of Japan” should not be underestimated. It is truly a master of deadly discomfort during the non-winter months.
At this point, you may be scratching your head and wondering what I am talking about.
Let’s scratch that itch by making a comparison.
The Canadian Mosquito
The Canadian mosquito, on average, is twice as big as a Japanese mosquito. Their proboscis is twice as long, and their bite, twice as painful! Only the sturdiest of jeans can deny these Canadian pests their lunch, which might be why denim is a favored clothing in Canada? eh? The thicker the better when in the outskirts of the big city.
Canadian mosquitoes are relatively slow flyers. It is even possible to catch them in the air with an outstretched hand. When drunk from feeding off of their host, they are even more slow and ponderous.
They aren’t very clever either; they will latch onto their prey wherever on the body, even if the flesh is not exposed. When they land on your skin, usually in plain sight, they take their time before eating (which, of course, is the optimal time to eradicate them). Children like to squeeze the skin just under the feeding mosquito, thereby trapping its proboscis and bloating it up before squishing it like a tomato! Not all children… not me!
At night, they can be heard quite succinctly due to their ear-deafening RV drone-like whirring that cannot be drowned out by the tinnitus of the elderly. They don’t even need to hover near your ear to be heard late at night. Best advice is to have a rolled-up magazine nearby to get a decent nights sleep.
Lastly, their bite is itchy and will last a day or two, three at the most, if one continuously scratches it. We don’t and so ends that discussion.
The Japanese (ninja) Mosquito
It should be noted that mosquitoes from both countries potentially carry diseases such as Zika and encephalitis (the latter of which I am all too familiar with as an encephalitis survivor). However, I will not touch on that subject in this article. My apologies.
Japanese mosquitoes are smaller, smarter, and more vicious than Canadian mosquitoes. Let’s uncover the reason why I fear these loathsome pests.
Like the ninja, the Japanese mosquito is agile and adept at flight. They are so fast that only a spray with maximum dispersal can bring them down, if lucky.
On top of that these tiny pests use the ninja techique of camouflage. When the lights come on, they can’t be found. When the lights are off, they come out of the shadows and are at their deadliest. Actually, you might be luckier if you tried swatting them when it is pitch dark.
It is very rare that they bother to hum their tiny hum near your ears while you slumber. I still don’t know if it is worthwhile to find out that your bedroom has one or not because you can spend a whole night looking for them and never find them in the end. What is worse, losing sleep or being bit? I remember the late night vigils of standing guard over my sleeping daughter and wife as I waited with the lights on to find the interloper, often to no avail.
The bite of this ninja is on a whole other level. It is inperceptable. It is rare that you can feel it when it is being done. To make matters worse, these mosquitoes make strategic strikes on a humans anatomy that are at the most inconvenient of places. Let me give you an example, they got me on the top of my eyebrow, my eyelid, the tip of my ear, between my knuckles, on my knuckles, and everywhere that clothing can rub on it 24 hours a day thereby repeatedly reminding us that they got their ounce of flesh!
Readers, would you care to share where they bit you? Feel free to leave your story below and commiserate with one another. I would love to read your stories!
Anyway, we are coming to the worst part. The itch lasts forever! Not just a few days like its Canadian bretheren, but a week or more! Unless you experience such, it is truly hard to fathom.
In Conclusion
As of yet, I have not encountered a real ninja here in Japan. At this point in time, I probably would not be scared of one if I did because the Japanese mosquito would terrify me even more.
As always, I thank you all for reading, if you have come this far. If you like what you read, please leave a suki (like). I would appreciate it. Also, please leave a comment below and tell us your mosquito story. It would be fun!
Thank you!
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